Tipping Edge

I never imagined getting affected by the flimsiest of things but here I am, a chaotic mess of sad, angry and feeling bad. Yes, I felt bad.

It never crossed my mind that I would develop anxiety but the past 10 months of uncontrollable uncertainty has turned me into a silent wreck.

Isolation and confinement has pushed me to reach out to people, recklessly exposing myself to be emotionally vulnerable and I’ve been led on and left out.

I’ve never done any of these things before and it’s overwhelmingly new and suffocating. And as soon as someone paid attention, I easily forget that expectation is paired with disappointment.

I used to be so good at refocusing my thoughts, blocking out bad memories, or just not giving a care but somehow, it’s been getting really hard to hold it all together and not being able to control what runs through my head is taking its toll on me.

Too heavy.

Too depressing.

Too confusing.

Too much.

xx

DMV

Enemies of the Heart | Anger

Following a daily devotional to appease a lot of chaotic thoughts.

This one is for me and I’m just going to leave it here as a reminder that there is so much more to life than living with all this nonsense.

Andy Stanley: Enemies of the Heart 

Devotional Day 3

“Letting Go of Hurt and Anger”

Scripture: Ephesians 4:25-32

The second enemy of the heart is anger. We get angry when we don’t get what we want.

Show me an angry person and I’ll show you a hurt person. And I guarantee you that person is hurt because something has been taken. Somebody owes them something.

We all know people whose anger could be verbalized in one of the following ways: “You took my reputation.” “You stole my family.” “You took the best years of my life.” “You stole my first marriage.” “You robbed me of my teenage years.” “You robbed me of my purity.” “You owe me a raise.” “You owe me an opportunity to try.” “You owe me a second chance.” “You owe me affection.”

The root of anger is the perception that something has been taken. Something is owed you. And now a debt-to-debtor relationship has been established.

How about you? What debt is causing the anger you feel?

How long are you going to allow the people who have hurt you to control your life? Another month? Another year? Another season of your life? How long?

I’d like to propose that today should be the day when you quit holding on to the hurt!

While it’s true that you can’t undo what’s been done, it’s equally true that you don’t have to let the past control your future. In Ephesians 4, we’re commanded to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger.” We do that by “forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

The remedy for anger is forgiveness. If we hold out waiting to be paid back for the wrongs done to us, we will be the ones who pay. If, on the other hand, we cancel the debts owed to us, we will be set free.

Of the four monstrous forces we’re discussing in these devotionals, I believe this one—unresolved anger from intentional and unintentional hurt—is the most devastating. Yet in some ways it’s the easiest to overcome. You simply make up your mind to cancel the debt. You decide and declare, “You don’t owe me anymore.”

Follow this four-step process today:

(1) Identify who you’re angry with.

(2) Determine what they owe you.

(3) Cancel the debt by forgiving them.

(4) Don’t let the anger build up again.

“So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:25-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Enemies of the Heart | Guilt

Subscribed to this devotional recently and I’m just gonna leave Day 2 here. Just in case you stumble across this, read up.

Andy Stanley: Enemies of the Heart 

Devotional Day 2

“Fessing Up”

Scripture: 1 John 1:5-10

The first enemy of the heart is guilt. Guilt is the result of having done something we perceive as wrong. The message from a heart laden with guilt is, “I owe!”

Consider the man who runs off with another woman and abandons his family. Without realizing it at the time, he has stolen something from every member of his family. He has robbed his wife of her future, her financial security, and her reputation as a wife. From his children’s perspective, this man has stolen their Christmas, traditions, emotional and financial security, dinners with the family, and so on.

Now, the man who did all this doesn’t think in terms of what he has taken. Initially, he thinks in terms of what he has gained. But the first time his little girl asks him why he doesn’t love Mommy anymore, his heart is stirred. He now feels guilty. Dad owes.

Nothing less than paying that debt will relieve a guilty heart of its burden of guilt. People try to work it off, serve it off, give it off, and even pray it off. But no amount of good deeds, community service, charitable giving, or Sundays in a pew can relieve the guilt. It’s a debt. And it must be paid or canceled for a guilty heart to experience relief.

How do you get your guilt canceled? The answer comes in one of the first Bible verses I memorized as a child: 1 John 1:9. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (kjv).

Confession has the power to break the cycle of sin. And like most medicinal remedies, it works when applied properly. Proper application happens when we confess our sins, not just to God, but also to the people we’ve sinned against.

Guilty people are usually repeat offenders. And as long as you’re carrying a secret, as long as you’re trying to ease your conscience by telling God how sorry you are, you’re setting yourself up to repeat the past. However, if you start confessing your sins to the people you’ve sinned against, odds are that you’re not going to go back and commit those sins again.

Confess both to God and others, and you will slay this enemy of your heart.

What are you feeling guilty for? Confess your sin to God and to whomever you have hurt. Do it today.

“This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭1:5-10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Answered Prayers

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I’ve never been religious, not even sure what that word really means. I’m not saying that I don’t believe in God because I do. In fact, I know I have a great relationship with God, I just don’t really believe in religion or maybe I’m not impressed with religion. Religion for me, limits someone’s understanding of faith as each “religion” has its own unique ideologies and cultures and traditions EVEN IF they claim to worship the same higher being. But despite not compelling to what a religious community (belonging to one) expects me to do, (not that I go around doing mindless stuff, of course I have my values), I know that my God loves me the same as everyone else.

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I’ve lost count on how people would tell me off when I don’t go to church like as if rubbing shoulders with hypocrites really make my Sundays better. I do go to church sometimes, the coffee is always good. (I know I’m gonna irk off a number of people with that statement but at least I’m being honest here and isn’t respect for others’ views taught in church as well?) I am very much aware, growing up in a family with closed religious beliefs, that as a “Christian,” I am obliged to go to Sunday mass or worship service, share in charities and actively participate in small groups. Not sure what sort of validation they get from doing so as I feel like their being good followers of Christ or their idea of how a Christian life is led are pegged on their church attendance (this is based on my experience, not talking generally). I don’t go for certain reasons I’m sure most people (who also call themselves Christians) won’t or refuse to understand. I however, worship my God in my own, intimate way, I don’t really need to let everyone in on how I do it because at the end of it all, it’s gonna boil down to just me and Him. I keep a devotional that I read and reflect on every morning, I converse with my God about random things as I go about my day and I’m a fervent believer of prayer. Yes, I pray a lot and I also teach my children how to pray and be thankful for the life God has graced upon us. How fortunate are we to experience this beautiful world.

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But it wasn’t always like that. To people who knew what I went through more than a decade back, they would somehow understand how I came to a point where I’ve shaken my fists and screamed at God for far too many times demanding that He listen to me and do as I ask because what I say would get me out of the miserable life He’s assigned me with. I’ve questioned Him endlessly as to why so much shit had to happen to me when I know I’m not a bad person and I feel like I’m being a good Christian — fulfilling my spiritual obligations, going to church every Sunday, tithing, being respectful and trying so much to be patient with everybody even when most of the time I can’t be. It’s so easy to put fault on someone when things turn sour and don’t go the way we expect it to be and in my exhaustion, I did just that. I blamed and cursed God for all the ugly that was happening to my life and even tried to convince myself that I don’t believe in Him anymore.

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Despite the thoughtless condemnation, my God’s love was steadfast and unwavering. He never failed to surprise me. What He gave me was always way better than what I asked for and up until know, I continue to be amazed. During those times when my heart was filled with hate and so much anger, I went on to ignore my God for years, failing to notice the colorful blessings He’s slowly painted my life with. In my doubt, the Lord tenderly showed me how to just let go and trust and when I finally decided to open my eyes, I broke down and reached out and it was through prayer that I developed a real relationship with Him. As my days unfold and more of my prayers are answered, I think I have an idea, maybe a clearer fragment on how He wants my life to play out. Yes, I will never fully understand how and I will always be impatient why it doesn’t ever happen overnight (after all, I am only human) but I am assured that God’s timing is perfect.

In between the weight of the world, we tend to forget that there is a God ready to receive our cry with a huge embrace, without judgement and full of mercy. You don’t really need to be religious to learn how to pray or worship or build a connection with God. Religion is a stereotype believers of Christ, of a God, of a higher being, could really do without. What this world needs is to commune and impart and share mutual beliefs that bank upon faith and kindness and compassion and not traditions. I long stopped decrying God’s decisions on my life and instead pray for discernment and the patience to wait because I now know He knows best and I will always be grateful and find comfort in the fact that I do not walk this life alone.

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xx

DMV

Don’t Give in to Self-Pity 

Sharing what my bestfriend sent to me first thing this morning. Very comforting especially to those who’s feeling down and “under the weather.” This is from one of the devotionals available at the YouVersion Bible App 

Don’t Give in to Self-Pity 

Self-pity is a destructive and negative emotion. It blinds us to our blessings and the possibilities before us and it steals our hope for both today and tomorrow. People who pity themselves think, “Why should I try to do anything? I’ll just fail.”

Self-pity is actually idolatry because it is self-focus carried to the extreme. When we allow ourselves to fall into self-pity, we are essentially rejecting God’s love and His ability to change things.

I encourage you not to waste one more day of your life in self-pity. When you lose hope and begin to feel sorry for yourself, stop and say: ‘I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I may be in a difficult season of life right now, but I will not stop hoping for better things!’

God has thoughts and plans for your good, to give you hope for your future. If you will hold on to your hope and fight for it when the enemy tries to take it away, you will see amazing things take place in your life.

Prayer Starter: God, I refuse to feel sorry for myself. Even if things are difficult right now, I know that You are bigger than my problems and that You have a good future planned for me. I want Your plans to come to pass in my life, and I trust in You to change my circumstances according to Your will.

Confess Your Faults to People You Trust 

Sharing Day 299 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Confess Your Faults to People You Trust 

Why don’t we ever talk about our faults and weaknesses? Why don’t we want to bring things like that into the open? It’s because we’re afraid of what people will think. We’re afraid of being rejected, misunderstood, or unloved by those we care about or that they might have a different opinion of us if they really knew all about us.

But confessing our faults is important for emotional healing. The Bible says that all hidden things will eventually be disclosed, so we might as well share our hurts and weaknesses today with people that we trust.

Pray and ask God to show you who you can trust, and then commit yourself to a relationship of openness and honesty with them. As you share together, you will bring God’s healing to each other.

Prayer Starter: Holy Spirit, show me who You’ve placed in my life that I can share my faults, weaknesses and hurts with. I want to open the door to greater healing in my life and in theirs.

For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all. (‭Luke‬ ‭8‬:‭17‬ NLT)

xx

DMV

Face the Truth About Yourself

In attaining peace, the first step is acceptance. Human as we are, we find fault in other people, things or situations when something goes wrong. What we fail to see is that we are given the choice to make happen what we want to happen; our misery and our joy depends on the decisions we make. Our tainted past or blurry present all have an impact on how we choose to live out the rest of our lives but it doesn’t define us, it is not reason to stop pursuing dreams or do good, it is not a hindrance but instead an opportunity to discover ourselves, our weaknesses and capabilities and what we can do about it. We have to accept that we are not perfect, the world is not perfect, but there is hope for all of us if we learn, let go and move forward. Things always happen for a reason and if it doesn’t work out like we expected it should, believe that you are called to a better purpose. Choose to accept these obstacles, these challenges, and peace will be in your heart.

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Sharing Day 137 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Face the Truth About Yourself

Someone once asked how I live free from my oppressive past. My answer is very simple: God has given me the grace and the willingness to face the truth about myself.

I grew up in a war zone. Because of my quick temper, I was upset most of the time. Because of being upset, I grew up depressed, disappointed and discouraged. I wished I could have a better life, but my wishing didn’t solve anything. It wasted my time as I kept blaming my problems on my bad family background.

Finally, God helped me realize that I had to stop wishing and start taking responsibility, to quit blaming other people and my circumstances, and quit making excuses for myself.

You might be in a similar situation. Facing the truth about yourself is scary, but you don’t have to do it alone. All your flaws are exposed to God, and if you ask Him for His perspective, He will help you pick yourself up, take responsibility, and live a peaceful life. Today, don’t be scared to face the truth about yourself, but let God guide you into a new tomorrow.

Prayer Starter: Holy Spirit, I need Your help to face the truth about myself. It’s time to stop blaming my problems on my past and on other people, and to meet them head-on with the power of Your Word. Empower me to take responsibility and to change for the better.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. (‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭13‬ NLT)

xx

DMV

Photo courtesy: SDL

You Can’t Add One Inch to Your Height!

STOP WORRYING! 😉

Sharing Day 136 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

You Can’t Add One Inch to Your Height!

Worrying does us absolutely no good. It doesn’t change one thing, and we waste time by being upset over stuff we can’t do anything about, things only God can change.

The Bible says we can’t even add one inch to our height by worrying. Yet, we worry, worry, worry, which gets us nowhere.

Every time we get really upset, it takes a lot of emotional energy, tires us out, messes with our health, steals our joy, and still doesn’t change one thing. We need to stop trying to fix things that only God can fix because the only one who’s clapping is the devil, saying, “Ha, ha, ha! Got ’em again!”

Jesus tells us to “calm down” in John 14:27 and”cheer up” in John 16:33. I think it’s a one-two knockout punch to the devil when we do. When you realize you can’t fix everything, that calms you down, and when You know that God can, it cheers you up!

So don’t worry. Instead, calm down, cheer up, and send the devil running!

Prayer Starter: Lord, my worrying really doesn’t accomplish anything, so I leave it behind. I’m so thankful that You can fix what I can’t. You calm me down and cheer me up!

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? (‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭27‬ NLT)

xx

DMV

Worry Is Selfishness in Disguise

Sharing Day 104 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Worry Is Selfishness in Disguise

Too often, people give in to worry without realizing how deadly it is. When you get to the root of it, worry is a sin. Worry certainly doesn’t come out of faith, and Romans 14:23 (AMP) states that “whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin.”

Most of the time, worry is based on one sin in particular: selfishness. Usually when we worry, we’re concerned about how our selfish desires are not being fulfilled. The more selfish desires you have, the more you have to worry about, and the more complicated your life becomes.

God wants us to simply focus on serving Him.

It is God’s will that we live our lives free from all anxiety and distressing care. He wants us to be free to serve Him without being ‘drawn in diverging directions’ (1 Corinthians 7:34 AMP). We must not allow the worries of this world to divert us from His purpose for our lives.

Seek to rid yourself of selfish desires. This will keep your life simple and give you less to worry about. Then you can wholeheartedly pursue God’s great plan for your life.

Prayer Starter: Father God, thank You for showing me that worry is a sin. Help me to get rid of my selfish, ungodly desires so that I can simply pursue Your destiny for me.

And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin. (‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭23‬ KJV)

(c) DAVJ

Why We Ask ‘Why?’

In times of hardships and moments of difficulties, in times of frustration and desperation, in search for a drastic solution, an answer to an ardent prayer, more often than not, we scream out to God and ask Him why shit happen to us.

Yes, I cannot deny, I do this. When I find myself stuck in a despairing situation and I don’t get the answers I am looking for, I ask why this has to happen to “me“.

Sharing Day 102 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Why We Ask ‘Why?’

Do you ever find yourself in a tragic situation and asked God, ‘Why? Why is this happening to me?’

For one moment, let’s imagine that God actually answered that question. Would His explanation change anything? The effects of the tragedy would still be with you, and the pain would be just as severe as it was before. What would you have learned?

When we ask God that question, I think the real questions we’re asking are: ‘God, do You love me? Will You take care of me in my sorrow and pain? You won’t leave me alone, will You?’ Is it possible that, because we’re afraid God doesn’t truly care about us, we ask for explanations?

Instead, we must learn to say: ‘Lord, I believe. I don’t understand, and I’ll probably never grasp all the reasons bad things happen, but I know for certain that You love me and are with me, always.’

I believe it often takes more faith to go through something victoriously than to be delivered from it. Put your faith in God and you’ll come out stronger on the other side.

Prayer Starter: God, I believe in You, even when circumstances try to fill my mind with doubt. Help me to remember Your love for me and to put my faith in You, no matter what happens.

And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. (‭Mark‬ ‭9‬:‭24‬ KJV)

I guess what we need to do is believe that there is always an end to every (and all) ugly circumstance that we get to face as we move on with our lives. God will never leave as alone. No, we will not fully understand His way of answering our whys but remarkably, when He answers, it is exactly what we are looking for.

xx

DMV