Posts Tagged ‘special’

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His Mind

March 4, 2016

It has always been a challenge (not a struggle) to raise a child with Asperger’s. They see a world so much different from ours, understand differently from what we can normally comprehend, grasp unrealistic ideas and view it as normal. They see color in black and whites and grays in color. They give a solid meaning to the word unique. So somewhere in between, you know you’d both clash and disagree.

But also in between you learn about patience (lots and lots and lots of patience), about perseverance, about compromise, about appreciation and amazement and unconditional love.

This kid, when he was younger, he could name all the flags of the world. When he got older, he could name all the car brands and their model types. Recently he’s into constellations and he’s been telling me about what he sees when he looks up the sky at night. It’s amazing how they could pour all concentration and focus and passion into that one thing that interests them and be scattered with all the rest.

There are days that I feel exhausted and helpless especially during the times when he is being unreasonable and throws a tantrum and no matter what I do he just completely shuts down and I can’t get through. There are days that I panic and overthink things, like how will he be able to live normally when I’ve gone. There are days when I feel like a failure and think that I am not doing enough despite all the medication and doctors and therapy.

Then there are days when he is overly sweet, does his chores, surprises me with I love you balloons and letters, talks to me about his day like what he did with his friends at school, jokes about random things, looks after his youngest brother and somehow, it assures me that somewhere, I am doing things right.

This kid, he’s taught me a lot about living. How to appreciate the little things, how to pay attention to detail, how to strive harder and never give up, how to dream. When he is shattered, I need to focus. When he is unnerved, I need to encourage. When he is irrational, I have to be patient. When he is being stubborn, I have to pour more love.

And yes he is extraordinary and atypical and awesome and I’m very very grateful.


xx

DMV

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To My First Born Son

March 25, 2015

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My dearest Joaquin,

How time flies, it’s been 11 years and how you’ve grown! In just a few years, I’ll be having my own teenager.

I’m so proud on how you’ve turned out to be, being your own individual person. And I’m so thankful for you because you have taught me so much about life; you gave me a darn good reason to live; you showed me my purpose on this earth and yielded me towards the right direction.

And I am forever thankful to God because not everyone is as lucky as me to be blessed with a son like you. I know sometimes I may be a little too hard but I only want you to understand your mistakes so that you learn from them. I want you to see that you can dream big and I will always be here for you, to walk with you in every step you make to fulfilling those dreams.

Manong, you are loved. Don’t ever think otherwise. You and your brothers are my world and I would do anything, everything, to give you the best life you could possibly have.

I love you beyond words. Always remember that. Happy 11th birthday!

Love,

Mama

xx

DMV

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ANGELES

July 23, 2013

Angeles.

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The name of a Daughter.
The name of a Sister.
The name of an Aunt.
The name of a Mother.
The name of a Grandmother.
The name of a Great Grandmother.
The name of a Friend.
The name of God’s follower.
The name of an Angel.

To us grandchildren, she was our Lola Inday. An extraordinary woman who has dedicated her life to God and her family. I know for a fact that one can never say anything bad against her or recall any bad memory. That’s how extraordinary she was. She went to different heights just to ensure her family’s security and comfort. We can always run to Lola Inday and she will lend us a listening ear. She would share her wisdom about life and encourage us to be optimistic about it. She was always fair and kind and mindful of other people most especially her family. Family always came first. She was the heart and root of the family, she had the power to gather all of us in one place and bond over the most delicious food she could create. I could just go on and on and on on how beautiful this woman was to each and everyone of us. Everywhere she went, she touched lives. She was special. She was an inspiration. She was a blessing. She is our Angel.

July 19, 2013, after seven years, she is finally home.
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July 22, 2013, we finally laid her to rest beside Lolo Piciong, her beloved Ding, as she had requested.
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I close my eyes and try to form a complete picture of my beautiful abuelita. The way she talks, the color of her hair, her favorite outfit, the smell of her room, her enchanting smile and I realize I miss her.
She is a part of me, a part of us, a part of everyone whose life she’s touched.
She, the woman that is everything positive and strong.
She, the woman who taught us to be tender when we need to be a shoulder to cry on.
She, the woman that can take a stick of butter and a loaf of bread and turn it into a feast for God.
She, the woman who taught us to find beauty in everyone and everything and that judgment is unnecessary.

And it is comforting to know that she is always there.

Lola you are special
Your love knows no bounds
A room takes special warmth whenever you’re around
You believe we are beautiful and talented and wise
And choose to see the best in us through such loving eyes
Every day with you was precious
We are so grateful for the time
Of all the grandparents in the world
I’m thankful that you’re mine.

Angeles Canet Mascunana Verdeflor
November 18, 1923 – October 24, 2012

xx

DMV

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