While scrolling through one of my social media sites, I came across your profile shoving me with happy faces of you and her. Funny, how you both made it official on the exact date we met over a year ago.
To be honest I felt a weight in my chest but only for a bit, then I found myself letting out a loud sigh.
A friend of mine started this challenge called #dearcember where you write an open letter for 30 people for 30 days. I don’t have 30 letters for 30 people for 30 days but I have today in particular and just one letter to write for just one person in mind.
So if ever you stumble upon this and feel like maybe it’s for you…well, here it goes:
You were a happy coincidence.
It was so random but we matched in so many ways.
I’m not sure why the universe allowed our paths to cross, even until now that question remains unanswered; will remain unanswered. They say everything happens for a reason but you turned out to be some kind of bullish confusion and it has always left me wondering.
Maybe it was because you needed to give me something I did not know I needed.
Momentary attention, appreciation, a push to quiet my emerging insecurities.
Soulmate. Whatever that is.
We were the same but different. You were my deja vu. I saw myself in you but I guess you found me too complicated.
I thought we were okay.
I would never know if you were a hint of hope or something misleading.
You added more pieces to my shattered ones but I’ve always felt numb anyway so it didn’t really hurt.
Despite having left with the door wide open when you suddenly decided you cannot stay, leaving the cold memories and what could have beens to linger in my head a little longer, I’m thankful for you.
You unearthed a part of me I did not know still existed.
You gave new meaning to emotions.
You forged color into my words and taught me that pain make such beautiful unconventional art.
For the most part of it, you showed me that I am after all, still human.
That I could be vulnerable and it’s okay to feel sad that we ended way before we even had the chance to begin, that you left me hanging and have me the impression that I am not enough to deserve some sort of closure.
So I guess this is how I end things, to finally put a dot to your unfinished sentence and close a book I haven’t even started to read.
I wish she complements your passions and understand your wit and give you the happiness you’ve so long been looking for, we all deserve it some way or another.
By now, you have become my so long ago, a fading thought and finally — I’m done.