Posts Tagged ‘random’

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3am Thoughts

January 10, 2020

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That Year-ender

January 7, 2020

I’m still freaking curious.

There was a spark, I know there was a spark and I’m missing that spark.

I’ve been digging inside my head since that Thursday and I still can’t find you and your words and that smile.

I’ve no memory.

 

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Weekend | Lantawan

May 19, 2019

Weekend at the mountains. Mahjong sesh leveled up 😂

Hearty lunch, happy hour started at 12:00 noon and even if I lost at mahjong, twas a really good weekend away from all the noise of the city.

xx

DMV

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Bewitched by Children’s Laughter

February 6, 2019

I did not dream of having kids. It was never part of the plan.

I wanted to write and live in different places, experience this diverse, expansive earth everyone keeps talking about.

At some point, I even wanted to go to outer space, discover aliens, leave footprints on the moon, trek Mars, name stars.

But you see, life has a sick sense of humor and who would have imagined I’d end up birthing 3 boys instead.

The irony.

I wasn’t ready.

Stuck in the mundane.

I think I’ll never be ready.

Fine, joke’s on me.

But I kept on, even when my mind was in total chaos. I still keep on.

I had the choice to get away, to run away as I always do, but I stayed.

And trying to be a mother, keeping up a facade of this supposedly strong person and parenting alone while my heart shattered into infinite pieces, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure.

But oh, the laughter of children, the sweetest songs, such beautiful music to my ears, I could listen to for a lifetime.

The course of our lives sometimes do not play out like how we pictured it in our heads but somehow, we always end up where we should be.

And most times, much happier.

 

xx

DMV

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Dearcember 8: Just another Coincidence

December 8, 2017

While scrolling through one of my social media sites, I came across your profile shoving me with happy faces of you and her. Funny, how you both made it official on the exact date we met over a year ago.

To be honest I felt a weight in my chest but only for a bit, then I found myself letting out a loud sigh.

A friend of mine started this challenge called #dearcember where you write an open letter for 30 people for 30 days. I don’t have 30 letters for 30 people for 30 days but I have today in particular and just one letter to write for just one person in mind.

So if ever you stumble upon this and feel like maybe it’s for you…well, here it goes:

You were a happy coincidence.

It was so random but we matched in so many ways.

I’m not sure why the universe allowed our paths to cross, even until now that question remains unanswered; will remain unanswered. They say everything happens for a reason but you turned out to be some kind of bullish confusion and it has always left me wondering.

Maybe it was because you needed to give me something I did not know I needed.

Momentary attention, appreciation, a push to quiet my emerging insecurities.

Soulmate. Whatever that is.

We were the same but different. You were my deja vu. I saw myself in you but I guess you found me too complicated.

I thought we were okay.

I would never know if you were a hint of hope or something misleading.

You added more pieces to my shattered ones but I’ve always felt numb anyway so it didn’t really hurt.

Despite having left with the door wide open when you suddenly decided you cannot stay, leaving the cold memories and what could have beens to linger in my head a little longer, I’m thankful for you.

You unearthed a part of me I did not know still existed.

You gave new meaning to emotions.

You forged color into my words and taught me that pain make such beautiful unconventional art.

For the most part of it, you showed me that I am after all, still human.

That I could be vulnerable and it’s okay to feel sad that we ended way before we even had the chance to begin, that you left me hanging and have me the impression that I am not enough to deserve some sort of closure.

So I guess this is how I end things, to finally put a dot to your unfinished sentence and close a book I haven’t even started to read.

I wish she complements your passions and understand your wit and give you the happiness you’ve so long been looking for, we all deserve it some way or another.

By now, you have become my so long ago, a fading thought and finally — I’m done.

xx

DMV

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33 Yipee | Mt. Pinatubo

August 10, 2017

If everyone should know, my birthday falls on a month dubbed as tiempo muerto meaning dead time. August is that time of the year where your funds are low, harvest season is months away and skies are always gloomy. Chinese even believe it’s not the best time to move to a house, start a business or get married. I’m not Chinese though, but still..

I always have a hard time planning what to do on my birthday because what I usually want can’t be done during this time of the year BUT I always end up spontaneously doing something fun. 😄

So anyway, me, my sister and her husband booked a flight to Manila for the weekend to celebrate my birthday and since I like to hike every once in a while, I signed us up for a Tinipak River trip with Jeron Travel. So timely that we will be in Manila during the trip and I’ve always wanted to visit the place.

Day 1 | August 3

Since I’m with Chinese people, dimsum and congee in Binondo and of course can’t miss Masuki’s mami, yum!

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After that feast, we went to Banawe to my BIL‘s friend’s store to buy us some car parts to bring back to Bacolod then chill for a bit and from there we were talking about if he wanted to join us in our Tinipak River tour. Last thing I know, we booked a trip to Mt. Pinatubo for tomorrow.

For this year’s birthday, the original plan was to go to Masungi Georeserve but they have a minimum number of people per group and it was only three of us. If we wanted to pursue, we have to pay for the minimum number of people so it was quite expensive. Next option was Mt. Pinatubo but a couple of tour operators I inquired with do not book tours from July to mid October because of the rainy season. They wouldn’t want to risk because bad weather would mean sudden landslides and flash flood so those two were off the list. Tinipak was a blessing and I was like–I get to do something cool for my birthday this year.

While we were talking about Tinipak and other plans, Pinatubo came up and RC, my BIL’s friend’s secretary said that she knows someone who could give us a tour. I was like I’m game, is everyone else game? And wow, they all said yes. 😂Lucky me! Imagine, Pinatubo and Tinipak back to back! So we parted ways, got things prepared for the hike and slept early.

Note: These people haven’t exercised for a long time and it would be my sister’s first time to hike in her entire existence. 😂

Day 2 | August 4

Left for Capas, Tarlac around 3:30 am, stopped by 7/11 for coffee and Mcdonald’s for breakfast then headed off to Tito Danny’s place.

Registered at their tourism office, signed a waiver and off we go.

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Trek to the Pinatubo crater consist of an estimated 1 hour jeep ride and 2 hour hike.

And the views were just awesome!

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There is an aeta community living in the area, they usually watch cattle of ranchers who bring them there to feed. Our guide, Kuya Ricky, told us that some Koreans have set up a church and school to help them out.

After the more than 1 hour jeep ride, we start the 7km hike to the crater.

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Mt. Pinatubo erupted in 1991, making it the 2nd largest eruption of the 20th century. The eruption produced high-speed avalanches of hot ash and gas, giant mud-flows, and a cloud of volcanic ash hundreds of miles up. Volcanologists said that this eruption had a worldwide impact and has caused global temperatures to drop temporarily.

Trail up the crater was lahar covered, soft and rocky (lahar is a mix of volcanic ash and rocky fragments) and mountain walls showed traces of landslides. I remember slipping a couple of times because it was raining. Crazy weather because well, it’s rainy season. One minute it’s scorching sunny (yes we got sunburnt) and next thing you know, it’s pouring.

This was our first stop. There is a little hut of an aeta family and they sell food, drinks and souvenirs. I asked Kuya Ricky what they do, if the children even go to school since I notice a lot of little kids running around. Our guide said they are different from the aeta community we passed earlier with whom the Koreans helped out, these ones usually harvest wild bananas to sell. They sell really cheap and since Mt. Pinatubo has become a tourist spot, they set up their little tiangge where hikers/tourists could rest and buy food, drinks and souvenirs. Other than that, they live a very routinary life. They wake up, sit, laze or play around, sleep. They don’t have electricity. I’m not sure if they have support from their local government. There’s an ongoing dispute between the locals and the military from what I’ve heard.

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This was our second stop. They set up portalets and cottages where you could rest. From this point, it’s just 20 minutes to the crater.

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My buddies brought with them a ton of food hahaha. Like literally too much for a day hike, can’t go hungry. I was even joking to sell some at the crater since everything costs a hundred bucks.

The trail up isn’t lahar covered anymore, more of river streams.

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Just some of the flora we passed along. I didn’t really see many flowers.

Then steps to the crater, not sure how many steps there were.

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Then this.

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Pictures just can’t do justice to what my eyes saw. It was magical even if it was raining. What more on a clear day?

You can actually go down to the crater but you are not allowed to swim. Wanted to go down but the fog was setting in and they advised against it because it might start pouring and we could get stranded.

I was so happy that I got to hike up a volcano on my birthday weekend! Been wanting to since last year hahaha. And so happy everyone was game despite the crazy weather.

* We paid P2,000 per person for the Mt. Pinatubo trek, that’s already inclusive of the Jeep rental, guide and permits.

Reward! This place was featured in Rated K so we decided to try it out. Sisig did not disappoint.

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Day 3 | August 5

We missed our Tinipak trip the next day because everyone was sore and feverish. Sorry! ✌️✌️✌️ We roadtripped instead to Tagaytay, had breakfast at Breakfast and coffee at Starbucks, the one on Calamba Rd.

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All homemade.

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That mandatory Taal volcano photo. Would’ve gone volcano hopping if weather wasn’t bad haha! 😂

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Foggy view but at least they spelled my name right (because the barista asked how it is spelled 😂).

Stopped by the Marcos Mansion for some buko juice on the way back. It’s actually become a sort of bike rest stop.

Then for dinner, thank you Arnold and Christine for my salubong feast! 😂😂😂

No plans are the best plans. Thanks for an awesome birthday weekend!

Day 4 | August 6

Flew home for my birthday. Had lunch with the most important people, blew my candle and spent the rest of the day lazing around with my boys. 😊

 

xx

 

DMV

 

 

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Random thoughts on this last Friday of August

August 28, 2015

Sometimes you just jump, like off a cliff or a really tall building.

Drastically you just do, even if heavy fog blinds you and the only way is down and there is no way of finding out what lies beneath when you hit bottom, be it rocks or stone pavements or grass or sea.

Because for a split, staggering, unnerving moment…you fly.

xx

DMV

Yeah I’m off work in two hours, yay for the long weekend!

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What is Love?

February 9, 2014

What-is-love

Love is …

♥  a single white rose on a rainy day
♥  a movie with Tater’s major barbecue fries
♥  a box of Reese’s
♥  a book collection
♥  a peck on the cheek
♥  a hug from the back
♥  a foot massage
♥  a bowl of cerelac
♥  a slow dance
♥  a lunch date with your sister
♥  a music soundtrack
♥  a rock concert with your bestfriend

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Love is …

♥  the racing heart and the sweat that breaks from a proposing man
♥  the tears that fall from the groom’s eyes when his bride enters the room
♥  the look of awe on a bride’s face when saying her vows
♥  the house they build and make into a home
♥  the waking hour, the afternoon sighs and the last goodnight
♥  the rise and fall of his every breath while watching him sleep
♥  the 9 months a mother carries her son in her womb
♥  the endurance of a torturous 36 hour labor
♥  the patience in looking after a baby who just recently had his shots
♥  the constant cooing of a 3 month old angel
♥  the ridiculous face a brother makes for a smile from the little one
♥  the proud look of a grandfather seeing his grandson score a goal

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Love is…

♥  the bags under a mother’s eyes for staying up late to feed the baby
♥  the scar on her belly to bring out the life from within
♥  the pain a father feels from not seeing his newborn son
♥  the broken heart of a single mother
♥  the dreams she keeps pursuing in hopeless situations
♥  the faith she puts on an unseen God
♥  the silent prayers for a shattered soul
♥  the forgiveness for the hurt, selfishness, lies and betrayal
♥  the appreciation of the little things that matter
♥  the acceptance of a person despite the differences
♥  the sincere thank you during helpless moments
♥  the fingers locked and intertwined, not wanting to let go

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Love is undefined, indescribable, immeasurable…

LOVE are these moments.

what-is-love

xx

DMV

…but the greatest of these is Love. – 1 Corinthians 13:13

Photo courtesy: Google images

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What are you thankful for?

November 29, 2013

As we are celebrating thanksgiving, what are you thankful for?

It’s been a rough year for me, chaotic. Since day one up to today of this year, stress levels have been high. I know God has a purpose for this dreadful (not to mention long) experience and I am still waiting for that answer.

As I look back at the previous months, what I see mostly are tears and heartaches, arguments and silent conversations, neglect and anger.

So given that, what am I thankful for?

I am thankful for chances. It is because of the chances I took that I’ve learned to value and love myself. It is because of these chances that I’ve realized what are important and what matters most.

I am thankful for family. No matter how hard up I was, they never left my side. I know that they will always be there when all else is gone.

I am thankful for the blessing of good (great!) friends. They’ve put up with my being blind, stubborn and stupid for the longest time. They’ve been an open ear and a receiving arm when I felt that I needed someone to talk or run to. They’ve supported me and stood by me during my most trying times. I am truly grateful.

I am thankful for academic excellence, mine and my son’s. All my hard work has paid off.

I am thankful for my three beautiful sons. They are the reason I continue to live. They’ve taught me how to be selfless; they’ve taught me the meaning of unconditional love. They are the ones who’s given my life purpose and I will continue to strive and live for them.

I am thankful for the little things — An unexpected hug, a compliment, “I love yous”, my son holding my hand while we walk, good mornings and good nights, my baby’s toothless smile, random visits, funny stories, good jokes, words of encouragement…I could just go on. These little things make up the precious moments of our lives. Cherish and appreciate every single one.

I am thankful for the gift of life. Mine might not be wonderful, enviable or perfect but it’s the only life I’ve got and I will make the most out of it. I know that God will one day, again, paint this dull life with radiant rainbow colors.

I may not have a lot and my life is not even close to almost perfect and although I am hard up, battered, beaten and broken with all the reasons of giving up and not moving forward, I know there is that guiding light somewhere that will bring me out of this dark place; that is something to be thankful for.

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Always.

xx

DMV

(Photo courtesy: Tumblr)

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