“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13
Marriage is not about the overly sized petticoats or the giant peonies or the Jimmy Choo shoes.
It’s not also about the Lancome finished makeup or dreamland reception with all the drapes and hanging lanterns and cherry blossoms.
No it’s not.
Marriage is a commitment. A promise supposedly made by two people “in-love” to be together in what they believe is called “forever” (despite whatever odds or something like that). For richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
Marriage starts after your wedding day; when you wake up the day after drunk (or sober) beside your partner with smeared makeup and messy, sticky hair and you find him still looking at you longingly, smiling with an I’m-so-lucky kind of look.
And you move in together into a new house that you will eventually build into a home. That is WHEN you both start living.
Yes, you will discover a lot of things about each other and you will not like some (or all) of them, but you will eventually learn to live with it and settle into a new kind of normal only the two of you understand.
Yes, life afterwards will not be what you’ve expected. You both will have to learn to adjust. You will fight a lot of times over the littlest and most unreasonable things (like shower curtains or squeezing toothpaste or tile colors or who makes breakfast), these are inevitable.
Yes, there will come a time that you find your self asking if you’ve made the right decision, questions like “What the hell am I doing in this relationship?” or if who you are with now is really “the one” are normal. We all have our own shortcomings and no one is perfect in marriage. There will be times when one may fail the other, mess up, or do something hurtful.
No, marriage is not your fairytale come true. BUT marriage is making a fairytale come true with someone you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with.
You see, it is not about you anymore. It is about you AND your partner. It’s a work in progress and a learning process and it requires BOTH of you.
How do you make it work?
You find out along the way.
But keep this in mind:
You both deserve someone who will be there for you, who has your back and takes your side, who takes care of you, looks after you; someone willing to sacrifice for you and fight for you; someone who believes in you, encourages you, pushes you not to stop dreaming and brings out the best in you; someone who doesn’t walk out on you during difficult situations; someone who stays simply because he choose to.
Be that person.
Be honest, brutally honest. Do not keep secrets, do not lie. Understand and compromise. Voice out. LISTEN. Pay attention to details. Involve each other. Be each other’s cheerleader, counselor, critic, nurse, confidante and best friend. Be each other’s priority. Be considerate, always. Be selfless. Watch your words, you will never be able to get them back. Be patient with each other, you do not think alike. Appreciate, even the littlest things, especially the little things.
It doesn’t hurt to say good morning and good night. It’s never too much to tell each other I love you everyday. Enjoy each other’s company. Make each other feel beautiful. Hug, kiss, cuddle.
Be random. Go on trips, travel, discover something new together. Experiment. Surprise each other. Be spontaneous.
Most importantly, have a spiritual life together. Go to church or prayer meetings or subscribe to reading plans. Feed your souls. Be blessed. When God is at the center of your marriage, grace pours in and believe that everything will come easily.
You never know who is that someone you are destined to be with. But trust in fate’s decision in bringing you together. There is always a reason we meet the people we meet eventhough sometimes we may not know why. There are no coincidences. Build on “together moments,” your happy times will be your anchor during the most trying days.
Always remember you deserve to be with someone who loves you. Love deeply and wholly. Set aside the clashing personalities, the twisted principles, the different point of views, if you are truly confident with each other’s love, you two will get along just fine.
Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. – F. Burton Howard