Walk

I keep walking.

Damp hair smear my cheeks;

sweat trickle down my eyes;

soles sore and heavy neath a crumbling fantasy;

toes numb, lurching me to trip on scarred tracks;

dirt stain my face.

I wait for an audience to stare down at me, a smirk, stifled laughter,

but there is no one.

I am alone.

And I realize, how inconsequential I am in a world full of blank faces.

That the sun will continue to set and the moon will continue to rise, that the earth will continue to spin and the birds will continue to sing, that storms will continue to surge and flowers will continue to bloom.

And it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with me.

What a comfort to know how I am nothing but free.

 

xx

DMV

Stop Keeping Score

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT) “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

That’s what Pastor Boris Joaquin cited last January 25, 2015 at Ikthus Bacolod about the Road to Recovery. I remember him sharing about his troubled relationship with his dad; how he masked his bitterness with success; how he always says he and his dad is okay when in truth, he resented him. I also remember him saying that forgiving someone takes time; that we need to forgive others because God has forgiven us and resentment just doesn’t work. “It’s not really what you eat but what eats you that matters.”

I’m very much closely acquainted with resentment. And though I’ve dealt with countless ugly events in my life, I’ve mustered burying them in a large vacuum at the bottom of my brain, compiled and kept. Problem is, this void is open, unchained, so tendency is, at the height of various, triggering moments, they resurface. And guess who is left frustrated? Me.

When there is resentment, everything gets affected. All your energy tend to focus on that one thing, that one nonsensical thing that you so obviously could do without and the more important things are left neglected and unappreciated.

You haven’t truly forgiven if there is still resentment in your heart. To forgive is to free your heart from any bitterness that you’ve harbored from the ones that hurt you. Yes it will take time, and eventually, I know I will get there. For now, I’m settled with “I’m doing fine.”

Sharing Day 241 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Stop Keeping Score

If someone has hurt you, don’t spend the next ten years of your life hurting yourself by hanging on to that offense. Most likely, the other person isn’t even thinking about you, while you dwell on the incident for years. That only hurts one person, you.

When we walk in unforgiveness, we try to “keep score,” viewing ourselves as better than the other person.

Back in the early days of our marriage, when Dave and I were fussing and fuming at each other, I would bring up stuff that happened years before and Dave would say, “Where do you keep all that stuff?” Well, I had a place, and it was all in there eating at me. And every new thing Dave did wrong would get added to this list, and it kept growing until it became a bitter giant in my heart.

When we walk in God’s love, we find freedom by keeping “no account” of wrongs done to us. If you’re hurting from the pain of unforgiveness today, ask God to help you stop keeping score. You can let go of your bitterness today.

Prayer Starter: God, I don’t want to keep score anymore and let my unforgiveness hurt me. I release it to You and ask You to help me walk in Your love, which keeps “no account of the evil done to it.”

It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭5‬ NLT)

xx

DMV

Setting Your Enemies Free

Sharing Day 56 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Setting Your Enemies Free

When dealing with past hurts, we all know that it’s right to forgive, even when it’s difficult. However, few of us rarely take the next step that God wants us to take.

A common misconception is that all we have to do is make the decision to forgive and our job is finished, but Jesus also said, “Invoke blessings upon and pray for the happiness of those who curse you, implore God’s blessing (favor) upon those who abuse you [who revile, reproach, disparage, and high-handedly misuse you]” (Luke 6:28 AMP). In addition, Romans 12:14 says that we are to bless the people who persecute us and treat us cruelly.

We are to actively bless our enemies. God calls us to extend mercy to people who do not deserve it. Why?

When you forgive, it opens a door for God to heal you, but honestly, it doesn’t do much for the person who offended you. But when you bless them, you ask God to bring truth to them so they can repent and experience the real freedom He provides. Forgiveness sets you free…blessing your enemies sets them free.

Prayer Starter: God, I thank You for helping me walk in forgiveness, but I don’t want to stop there. I ask You to bless those who have hurt me. In the same way that You have brought healing to my life, bring healing to them so they can experience Your goodness and walk in Your love.

Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. (‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭14‬ KJV)

xx

DMV

Forgive.

Forgive. Forgiveness. To forgive.

Such a strong word. Such a big decision to make. Such a brave choice.

Especially when what was done to you was unfathomable. Something that until now you still try to understand. Incomprehensible. Uncalled for. Too much.

Especially when the one who hurt you was someone you love. Someone who fills the space of your heart. Someone your world revolved around. Someone you look up to. Someone you least expected.

Especially when the trust is tainted and respect is lost and you harbor thoughts of revenge and your heart continues to race, fueled by hate and anger.

Especially when it’s so hard to forget, the memories destroy you, the tears unconsciously fall and you are left unanswered to endless whys.

To forgive. Why forgive when sometimes you just can’t, when it is so hard to do.

Because only in forgiveness do we find peace. It is the most rewarding thing that we can give ourselves, the gift of peace. And in peace we find the strength to move on, to go forward. We free ourselves from our own prison, our prison being the grudges and bitterness we hold. In forgiving, we release ourselves from the pain. We eventually learn to appreciate what we call life and start living it fully.

Forgiving takes time and it is never easy. It is an act of full determination that has to come from you. You have to want to forgive. You have to decide to forgive. You have to choose to forgive. But if possible, forgive quickly. Take focus on what the wrong has opened your eyes to and pave the way to your healing. Remember we are not promised tomorrow.

forgiveness-bible-verses-540x337

xx

DMV

Photo: Google images