Posts Tagged ‘dream’

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Bewitched by Children’s Laughter

February 6, 2019

I did not dream of having kids. It was never part of the plan.

I wanted to write and live in different places, experience this diverse, expansive earth everyone keeps talking about.

At some point, I even wanted to go to outer space, discover aliens, leave footprints on the moon, trek Mars, name stars.

But you see, life has a sick sense of humor and who would have imagined I’d end up birthing 3 boys instead.

The irony.

I wasn’t ready.

Stuck in the mundane.

I think I’ll never be ready.

Fine, joke’s on me.

But I kept on, even when my mind was in total chaos. I still keep on.

I had the choice to get away, to run away as I always do, but I stayed.

And trying to be a mother, keeping up a facade of this supposedly strong person and parenting alone while my heart shattered into infinite pieces, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure.

But oh, the laughter of children, the sweetest songs, such beautiful music to my ears, I could listen to for a lifetime.

The course of our lives sometimes do not play out like how we pictured it in our heads but somehow, we always end up where we should be.

And most times, much happier.

 

xx

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To My First Born Son

March 25, 2015

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My dearest Joaquin,

How time flies, it’s been 11 years and how you’ve grown! In just a few years, I’ll be having my own teenager.

I’m so proud on how you’ve turned out to be, being your own individual person. And I’m so thankful for you because you have taught me so much about life; you gave me a darn good reason to live; you showed me my purpose on this earth and yielded me towards the right direction.

And I am forever thankful to God because not everyone is as lucky as me to be blessed with a son like you. I know sometimes I may be a little too hard but I only want you to understand your mistakes so that you learn from them. I want you to see that you can dream big and I will always be here for you, to walk with you in every step you make to fulfilling those dreams.

Manong, you are loved. Don’t ever think otherwise. You and your brothers are my world and I would do anything, everything, to give you the best life you could possibly have.

I love you beyond words. Always remember that. Happy 11th birthday!

Love,

Mama

xx

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