Grey and Yellow

2020 was life-changing, it was exceptionally challenging that I can’t even put in a good word.

It was unremarkably heavy, a burdened weight unnecessarily shouldered for the past 10 months.

Suddenly, everyone had to forego with comfortable, we did not have a choice and that was frustrating. Life had to hide behind the mask.

Loss was a daily constant. The existential need to be seen, to be heard, to be held, was abruptly stolen by uncertainty and time was not on our side.

Anxiety continue to grow and you find yourself writing down turbulent thoughts on a fleeting lucid moment at 2 am.

I had to deal with so much the last year, I couldn’t cope. Gone was the strong facade I so easily wear, replaced by a throng of vulnerability and unrest. I feel like the chemistry in my brain fucked up.

2020 did not turn out how we hoped it would be, it was a cruel surprise. But somewhere in between the pandemonium was a window of realization that human as we are, we will instinctively survive.

If there was anything that I learned from the longest year of my life, it was gratitude, gratitude from the smallest of things: from keeping a job despite the economic collapse, home-cooked meals, discovering a hobby, appreciating my small circle of family and friends, new-age technology filling in the gap from being socially distant, waking up alive, healthy and somewhat sane.

May we leave the dust of the year that was in the past and may we learn that we could choose to drop these heavy loads and walk towards hope, no matter how small a speck, with empty arms making room to carry much better things.

Smile. It’s a New Year.

xx

DMV

Enemies of the Heart | Guilt

Subscribed to this devotional recently and I’m just gonna leave Day 2 here. Just in case you stumble across this, read up.

Andy Stanley: Enemies of the Heart 

Devotional Day 2

“Fessing Up”

Scripture: 1 John 1:5-10

The first enemy of the heart is guilt. Guilt is the result of having done something we perceive as wrong. The message from a heart laden with guilt is, “I owe!”

Consider the man who runs off with another woman and abandons his family. Without realizing it at the time, he has stolen something from every member of his family. He has robbed his wife of her future, her financial security, and her reputation as a wife. From his children’s perspective, this man has stolen their Christmas, traditions, emotional and financial security, dinners with the family, and so on.

Now, the man who did all this doesn’t think in terms of what he has taken. Initially, he thinks in terms of what he has gained. But the first time his little girl asks him why he doesn’t love Mommy anymore, his heart is stirred. He now feels guilty. Dad owes.

Nothing less than paying that debt will relieve a guilty heart of its burden of guilt. People try to work it off, serve it off, give it off, and even pray it off. But no amount of good deeds, community service, charitable giving, or Sundays in a pew can relieve the guilt. It’s a debt. And it must be paid or canceled for a guilty heart to experience relief.

How do you get your guilt canceled? The answer comes in one of the first Bible verses I memorized as a child: 1 John 1:9. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (kjv).

Confession has the power to break the cycle of sin. And like most medicinal remedies, it works when applied properly. Proper application happens when we confess our sins, not just to God, but also to the people we’ve sinned against.

Guilty people are usually repeat offenders. And as long as you’re carrying a secret, as long as you’re trying to ease your conscience by telling God how sorry you are, you’re setting yourself up to repeat the past. However, if you start confessing your sins to the people you’ve sinned against, odds are that you’re not going to go back and commit those sins again.

Confess both to God and others, and you will slay this enemy of your heart.

What are you feeling guilty for? Confess your sin to God and to whomever you have hurt. Do it today.

“This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭1:5-10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Juancho turns 1!

Our chipmunk turned a year old last November 5, 2014 and together with his birthday, he also received the sacrament of Baptism.

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Juancho Angelios | Baptism
November 5, 2014
Redemptorist Church, Bacolod City

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Let’s go Pocoyo!

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Juancho Angelios | Birthday
November 5, 2014
Event A, The Porch
Lopue’s East Centre, Bacolod City

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Photo: HM Veñegas
Video: Richard Malihan, Roniel Tanguan
Decor: May Lee
Cake: Shesley Adelantar of Shezzles
Clown: Ivan Juesna and Joji Juesna

To that one time we were complete.

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Thank you.

xx

DMV

The Big 3-0

I’ve lived three decades and survived!

No, it wasn’t a lavish celebration, considering the fact that I don’t really celebrate my birthday.

But I thank God for giving me the wonderful gift of loving Family and really great Friends. All these unplanned events made me feel extra special.

Day 1:

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Bananas from Dane, lunch date with my sister, pizza party from the office and dinner with the family, what a pleasant surprise.

Day 2:

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Mahjong party with these beauties. My raccoon eyes were worth it! (lol)

Day 3:

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Fancy dinner with this bunch. It was an interesting night indeed! (aka ang ita)

These people, these moments…I don’t need much, they are enough.

xx

DMV

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…and that concludes my big 3-0. Thank you so much for cheering me up, for always remembering me and staying by me through whatever. We might not always agree on things but I am confident that you truly care. I love you all so much! Cheers!

Setting Your Enemies Free

Sharing Day 56 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.joycemeyer.org/ Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life – a Daily Devotional

Setting Your Enemies Free

When dealing with past hurts, we all know that it’s right to forgive, even when it’s difficult. However, few of us rarely take the next step that God wants us to take.

A common misconception is that all we have to do is make the decision to forgive and our job is finished, but Jesus also said, “Invoke blessings upon and pray for the happiness of those who curse you, implore God’s blessing (favor) upon those who abuse you [who revile, reproach, disparage, and high-handedly misuse you]” (Luke 6:28 AMP). In addition, Romans 12:14 says that we are to bless the people who persecute us and treat us cruelly.

We are to actively bless our enemies. God calls us to extend mercy to people who do not deserve it. Why?

When you forgive, it opens a door for God to heal you, but honestly, it doesn’t do much for the person who offended you. But when you bless them, you ask God to bring truth to them so they can repent and experience the real freedom He provides. Forgiveness sets you free…blessing your enemies sets them free.

Prayer Starter: God, I thank You for helping me walk in forgiveness, but I don’t want to stop there. I ask You to bless those who have hurt me. In the same way that You have brought healing to my life, bring healing to them so they can experience Your goodness and walk in Your love.

Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. (‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭14‬ KJV)

xx

DMV

She is….MOM!

As a tribute to our mothers, I’d like to post this entry, Day 1 of the reading plan I am currently on from http://www.justjoyministries.com/

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She Is… A Chauffeur!

As a mom, one of your most irritating and yet vitally necessary job descriptions is that you are a chauffeur! Now truthfully, I am not referring to the endless days of taking kids to soccer practice, youth group, the orthodontist and piano lessons.

You must make sure that your children reach their destinations in life. Every important destination that a child arrives at is simply because he or she had a mom who took the job of chauffeuring seriously.

From sleeping all night … to giving up their pacifiers … to learning how to write their names … to making their beds … to personal hygiene … you are the mom and you lead them in the right direction in order to reach these important goals in life.

You must not merely point them in the right direction, but by the example of your life you must take them there.

You cannot merely tell your children how to tie their shoes, how to serve God or how to be kind. Telling is not enough when it comes to mothering. You must model it by daily life choices.

Your child will be no kinder than you are … they will not be happier than you are … and they certainly won’t read the Bible if you don’t.

As you chauffeur your children through life, it is your input and impact that will take them through low valleys and to mountain top vistas … across bumpy, dirt roads and away from dead ends. But the fact that you are in the driver’s seat will ensure their safety and eventual arrival at a healthy place in life.

You are a chauffeur… make sure that you are taking your child in the right direction. In order to do that, you must make sure that YOU, the mom, are going in the right direction. Be mindful of only following the trustworthy directions found in the GPS of God’s Word and not the confusing and contradicting cultural roadmap that will lend only to dead ends in life.

Happy Mother’s Day! 😘

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xx

DMV

Sunday musings: Parents

For being a parent: a mother, a father, is the greatest accomplishment you could ever fulfill in your life.

Majority of parents would want what is best for their children. No matter how hard the pain and sacrifice each will have to go through, a parent will oversee and go beyond just to see his children well and grounded.

It is our duty as parents to take good care of one of the many wonderful blessings God has bestowed upon us.

We are not perfect, we are only human but human as we are, we are given the power to decide to be our best selves, a self that our children will look up to. A self that they could be proud of.

One of the tough parts of being a parent is knowing we can’t rescue our children from every difficulty in life. Sometimes the pain they suffer has to be their own. In those times, what we can do is walk with them in their suffering and, with God’s grace, see them through it. Even if the burden is theirs to carry, they don’t have to face it alone. (JimDalyBlog.com)

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We do not control our children’s lives, but we are tasked to be their guide, to support them, teach them and encourage them to be the best they could ever be, ready them to face the everyday reality of what we call life, so make time.

As God our Father is there for us, so shall we to our children.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6

xx

DAVJ

My little Angel

Yes, I was pregnant since February of this year (me and my husband got back together, you figure it out) and I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last November 5th.

It wasn’t an easy pregnancy. It was stressful and chaotic but I’m blessed that Little Boy came out and turned out to be okay.

I had to literally start from “zero”, the age gap being nine years. And baby stuff? I literally had none (not even one washcloth!). But I thank God for caring and thoughtful friends and family who eased my needs by throwing me a baby shower during me and my husband’s 10th year anniversary. From that moment on I’ve been excited to meet Little Boy.

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And it was a torturous waiting game when I was on my 37th week. I’ve had a number of false alarms and it was really dragging. I couldn’t wait to get it over with. I felt bloated and heavy and tired.

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(Photo courtesy: Jyuan Sebastian V. Jose)

But due to some complications I was augmented on November 3rd, 4 days before my due date. I was in labor for 36 hours and during the one and a half day I stayed in the labor room I watched other pregnant women come in and go. It was very exhausting; everything hurt, everything felt heavy, everything was messy, I literally felt so battered. And when my Doctor came during the wee hours in the morning of the 5th to further my labor, we found out that Little Boy was in breech position and I was subject for C section. Imagine going into labor for 36 hours and ending up in the operating room (tragic).

But on the brighter side, I thank my God for keeping me and my baby safe.

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Our little angel JUANCHO ANGELIOS V. JOSE, born November 5, 2013 and the whole of Negros Occidental celebrated with him.

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xx

DMV