My little Angel

Yes, I was pregnant since February of this year (me and my husband got back together, you figure it out) and I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last November 5th.

It wasn’t an easy pregnancy. It was stressful and chaotic but I’m blessed that Little Boy came out and turned out to be okay.

I had to literally start from “zero”, the age gap being nine years. And baby stuff? I literally had none (not even one washcloth!). But I thank God for caring and thoughtful friends and family who eased my needs by throwing me a baby shower during me and my husband’s 10th year anniversary. From that moment on I’ve been excited to meet Little Boy.

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And it was a torturous waiting game when I was on my 37th week. I’ve had a number of false alarms and it was really dragging. I couldn’t wait to get it over with. I felt bloated and heavy and tired.

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(Photo courtesy: Jyuan Sebastian V. Jose)

But due to some complications I was augmented on November 3rd, 4 days before my due date. I was in labor for 36 hours and during the one and a half day I stayed in the labor room I watched other pregnant women come in and go. It was very exhausting; everything hurt, everything felt heavy, everything was messy, I literally felt so battered. And when my Doctor came during the wee hours in the morning of the 5th to further my labor, we found out that Little Boy was in breech position and I was subject for C section. Imagine going into labor for 36 hours and ending up in the operating room (tragic).

But on the brighter side, I thank my God for keeping me and my baby safe.

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Our little angel JUANCHO ANGELIOS V. JOSE, born November 5, 2013 and the whole of Negros Occidental celebrated with him.

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xx

DMV

Just some random thoughts.

There always comes a point in your life when you question yourself “Have I made the right decision?” I for one have lost count on how many times I’ve asked myself that dreadful question. But I do get that the life we live depends upon the choices we’ve made and if you find you are happy or miserable, you alone are accountable. Nobody is responsible for your happiness or your misery except you. The changes we want to see all depends on what action we do for what we want accomplished. Sad truth is we can’t save the world, we can’t save anyone from their selves.

Life is sometimes full of worries about details. If someone asked me how I was and I tell them I am doing fine, I’d be lying. I’ve been stuck in a dilemma for so long that I almost feel indifferent. But I am fully aware that my life’s turning point would all depend on me.

xx

DMV

End Results.

Our mind is a treacherous place. Trust is a fantasy. Monsters we have returned to. Malevolent we have become. We speak without knowing. We act without caution. We are selfish. A dark lore looms just above sanity; a sudden push might cease us to exist. Our epiphanies come to be catatonic. Everyday a catastrophic calamity of thoughts. We are broken pieces of glass. A bleeding inevitability of being incomplete. The predicament of wanting to be at all places at once. The dilemma of being stuck in between, having to choose between what is right and what is good. A far reach to sanctuary, a silent cry for comfort, a hopeful breath for relief.

Persevering patience for an ideal. A longing for normalcy.

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xx

DMV

(Photo courtesy: Tumblr)

ANGELES

Angeles.

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The name of a Daughter.
The name of a Sister.
The name of an Aunt.
The name of a Mother.
The name of a Grandmother.
The name of a Great Grandmother.
The name of a Friend.
The name of God’s follower.
The name of an Angel.

To us grandchildren, she was our Lola Inday. An extraordinary woman who has dedicated her life to God and her family. I know for a fact that one can never say anything bad against her or recall any bad memory. That’s how extraordinary she was. She went to different heights just to ensure her family’s security and comfort. We can always run to Lola Inday and she will lend us a listening ear. She would share her wisdom about life and encourage us to be optimistic about it. She was always fair and kind and mindful of other people most especially her family. Family always came first. She was the heart and root of the family, she had the power to gather all of us in one place and bond over the most delicious food she could create. I could just go on and on and on on how beautiful this woman was to each and everyone of us. Everywhere she went, she touched lives. She was special. She was an inspiration. She was a blessing. She is our Angel.

July 19, 2013, after seven years, she is finally home.
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July 22, 2013, we finally laid her to rest beside Lolo Piciong, her beloved Ding, as she had requested.
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I close my eyes and try to form a complete picture of my beautiful abuelita. The way she talks, the color of her hair, her favorite outfit, the smell of her room, her enchanting smile and I realize I miss her.
She is a part of me, a part of us, a part of everyone whose life she’s touched.
She, the woman that is everything positive and strong.
She, the woman who taught us to be tender when we need to be a shoulder to cry on.
She, the woman that can take a stick of butter and a loaf of bread and turn it into a feast for God.
She, the woman who taught us to find beauty in everyone and everything and that judgment is unnecessary.

And it is comforting to know that she is always there.

Lola you are special
Your love knows no bounds
A room takes special warmth whenever you’re around
You believe we are beautiful and talented and wise
And choose to see the best in us through such loving eyes
Every day with you was precious
We are so grateful for the time
Of all the grandparents in the world
I’m thankful that you’re mine.

Angeles Canet Mascunana Verdeflor
November 18, 1923 – October 24, 2012

xx

DMV

INFERNO by Dan Brown

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SPOILER ALERT!

I’ve finally finished reading Dan Brown’s Inferno and I must say it’s an amazingly chilling read (although the way he writes is confusing at times).

Yes, it’s unbelievably far out, his serial heroes Robert Langdon being perfectly versed with all of history and symbology and iconography and Sienna Brooks being inconceivably the most intelligent woman on earth. But then again, you don’t read Dan Brown books because of the redundant way it’s written or the absurd combination of words, you read it to be engrossed in a speedy, heart racing plot and see that facts from history, truthful global conspiracies could be incorporated into a work of fiction. You are educated. You then get hooked.
Note: Everything that happened in Inferno happened within 24 hours.

The book, inspired by the inscrutable symbolisms from Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy and Sandro Botticelli’s Map of Hell, is devoted to transhumanism, devoted to the future of humanity and the existential risk it reveals due to overpopulation and the alarming fact that in the next century we may cease to exist. What’s frightening is that depicted in the book are two graphs from the World Health Organization supporting this theory. It is also mentioned by the antagonist of the story, Bertrand Zobrist, a deranged biochemist, in order for humanity to survive a sustainable environment, the population of the world should not run over four billion. We are currently running to seven or eight billion. Zobrist believed that unless a catastrophic event significantly reduces the startling rate of population growth, the human race will be wiped out thus, with the aid of the Consortium, he creates an airborne virus that could modify human DNA causing 1/3 of the world’s population to be sterile.

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When I was reading the book, i did realize that this idea could somehow be true. Mentioned also in the book was the very controversial portrayal of Manila as the gates of hell. When Sienna Brooks joined in a humanitarian mission to one of the third world countries, they went to Manila, Philippines and it was mentioned in the book that she was shocked by its apocalyptic poverty and was almost raped by local ruffians. An excerpt from the book goes: “When the group settled in among the throngs in the city of Manila—the most densely populated city on earth—Sienna could only gape in horror. She had never seen poverty on this scale.”

I believe this sparked controversy because most Filipino “nation builders” are in denial. Yes we are on an alarming scale of poverty and unemployment and one of the reasons to this situations is due to overpopulation. They fail to see the overcrowded metropolis, the high crime rate, child labor, sex trade, pollution and unemployment. I am sure that this is not only applicable to Manila but also to densely populated areas all over the world.

Somehow I viewed the book as an eye opener on what is the world’s current status. And maybe somewhere, there is a deranged Bertrand Zobrist existing, a scientist with a mind ahead of its time, also creating a solution to help humanity survive.

Ok, stopping to overthink now. But again, I loved reading this book. 😊👍👏📕

xx

DMV

Ideal vs. Real

Those mental images, concepts, ideas of perfect…

When we were young, we believed we had it all figured out. The ideal life, the ideal job, the ideal boyfriend, the ideal husband, the ideal house, the ideal car, the ideal family…

You work at it, then life begins and you suddenly realize you got it all wrong. You try and try to reach that ideal but then reality strikes and you find out you just can’t win. So you build up this fantasy world to shield yourself from the pain, to guard against a mind about to collapse, a heart ready to explode.

Some shy away from everything they know, trying to avoid keeping up a brave face because truth is, everything is just broken.

Some stand at the edge of the rail, looking back and contemplating to jump.

Others put a bullet through their head.

Sometimes you have this fluttering feeling, a kick that says someone’s life depends on you and all you are left to do is lock yourself in some secluded place and start to cry.

We then start to ask, how did we end up here? Would we rather live a boring but normal life or a colorful but complicated life?

Where we end up are the results of the choices we’ve made while we journey on. We need to recognize the difference between what is ideal and what is real. We are the authors of our own books, we write our pages. If your ideals fail you, refocus. See reality, make do of what is in front of you, focus on things that matter most. Block away the trauma and move on. Easier said than done but realize it’s just tears and rain in a day of your life. There is still a great chance tomorrow might be sunny.

xx

DMV

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Yummy in my Tummy!

Somewhere in Cagayan…

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Chef April creates a menu for a restaurant and ktv that will be opening in July. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to disclose the name but to be safe, it’s gonna be one helluva place! As its tag goes, “Feel the party soon…”

Day 1

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Day 2

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Day 3

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Day 4

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Soon, feel the party in your tummy!

Last month, she also created the menu for Tree House, Budgetel’s restaurant. Now I’m sure travelers staying here would be able to avail of great food at an affordable price!

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As our friend John said, next chapter of this project: singing!

Til next time!

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xx

DMV

April Fools!

So instead of doing the traditional way of knowing, April thought of finding out if her baby was a he or she by eating cake.

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They gave their first ultrasound result to the baker for a much awaited surprise. If the inside of the cake reveals blue then obviously it’s a boy. If it shows pink, then baby’s a girl.
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We get to vote too! Winners get prizes! Funny because couples tend to vote one for each so either way they get to take home a prize (haha!).
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For him and for her giveaways.
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When it was time…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

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Baby’s a GIRL!
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And that is one excited Grandma!
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Revelation complete. Happy Birthday APRIL! Congratulations Daddy ROMEO! Sure ain’t April Fools!
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xx

DMV

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Remembering a Friend

God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
As the days come and go and the world moves on,
I know you’re still here, you’ll never be gone.
On the night the Angel came and
took your hand,
We cried as you left for an unknown land.
But Heaven rejoiced as you came into
sight,
For your soul was a diamond, shining so bright!

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It has been eight years since you’ve gone, but it feels like you’re just here somewhere, maybe on eternal vacation. Your view must be amazing with the powdery sand, the blue sea and the awesome sunsets.

We miss you Maiks and I hope you enjoyed when we came bringing you pizza and barbecue and ice cream because we certainly did! 😄 (not to mention all the juicy gossip)

Because you are always remembered..
Because you are forever loved..
Because you are greatly missed..

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Michaela Marie Gatchalian
1984-2005

xx

DMV

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