ASD, bullying and being a single mom

I never thought that being a single mom and raising a teenager with Asperger’s syndrome would be so difficult, until now.

So today, I found out that my kid gets bullied at school. He’s been called names and laughed at because of his different behavior that most people would call weird. His schoolmates would put in disparaging comments on his Facebook posts but he would be answering them back with naivety and it irks my sleeping bitch.

[ I am totally against kids and social media until they are maybe of legal age. Some of the things going on there would not be fully comprehended by a thirteen year old. Just because it is shared doesn’t mean it is right. If it was just up to me, I wouldn’t allow my kids to have social media pages but their school required them to create one in relation to their school activities. ]

As a mom, I would do anything to protect my kid. I literally want to grab these stupid bullies by the throat and drag their faces on asphalt until they are expunged (and to think I’ve never been physically violent for whatever my whole life but I actually have these thoughts) because it hurts so much to see my child being taken advantaged of and ridiculed just because he doesn’t think the same way as they do.

I’ve never felt so helpless. I honestly don’t know how to deal with the kind of situation my kid is going through as I have never experienced being bullied in elementary or high school. I’ve tried talking to him, asked him what was wrong, that he could tell me anything and that I am here to help him and he would just tell me everything is okay, that nothing is wrong and then shut me out, he doesn’t want to talk to me or maybe he doesn’t trust me enough to confide in me.

So here I was, crying all morning, feeling useless, blaming myself for whatever reason that would cross my head and decided to ask for advise from a friend. I poured out how I felt and the one thing he told me was that my kid maybe needs a man to guide him and I felt so brokenhearted because I’m all he got and I don’t know how to help him. I’ve been raising three boys on my own and I know at some point there would be things that I won’t be able to teach or impart to them but I’ve been trying really hard to fill in the gaps. That “needs a man” option is not on my list because I believe he doesn’t really need one.

Maybe he’s in an awkward stage, you know where teenagers vie for attention from their peers, that sense of validation or belongingness, I have no idea, but he might be doing it all wrong. I was thinking earlier of going to the school, reporting the bullies to the principal or even get in between and be involved but my friend told me that it would just make matters worse. My kid would be branded a momma’s boy or a little baby and I was like I just can’t sit and watch my kid go through this madness. I know I may have exaggeratedly reacted to the situation but this is my kid we’re talking about here.

My friend told me to relax and assured me that eventually, my child would learn how to deal with his monsters. He went through a lot of bullying himself, at home and at school and he got out okay. He told me that I have to let my kid be, he has to learn how to be independent and deal with different situations on his own. I won’t always be around so he has to figure some things out for himself.

I’m feeling more and more confused so to speak. I feel so alone and defeated. I just want my son to open up to me and tell me what is wrong and how he wants to deal with whatever problem he’s facing and how I could help him.

I guess being a parent doesn’t warrant me to think and act for my kid but I don’t know if that also applies to children with special needs. I recently enrolled him to take guitar lessons because he’s more interested in music than sports (although I’d really want him to learn boxing or mixed martial arts). I just hope this is a good diversion to whatever awkward situation he is going through.

xx

DMV

Of Celebrations of Life and Goodbye Kisses

After a long and tiring week, de-stress weekend up the mountains. It was a birthday celebration and a bon voyage to two of our dear friends.

Photo set | DSB

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Happy birthday April!

And this kid wanted to explore.

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Happy kids!

Again, happy birthday April and safe travels Mary Rose!

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xx

 

DMV

Hong Kong 2017 | Summer break

I’ve read somewhere that family vacations are “happiness anchors” for kids until they grow up, banking on treasured memories and bonding moments. Instead of spending so much on gadgets and expensive toys and since March was a month of so many celebrations (Joaquin’s birthday, his and Miguel’s transition to 7th grade and Juancho’s moving up from toddler class), we decided to take the kids out for a treat. So Oceanpark and Disneyland it is.

Day 1 | Take off

Early flight to Manila and the kids were very much behaved, thank you. Got our Rame Nagi fix and free donuts because the light was on.

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Left Manila for HK around 5ish in the afternoon (flight was delayed), took the A21 bus to Mongkok, met with the AirBnb person and had late dinner nearby.

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Touchdown! Kids seem happy (lol).

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Day 2 | Ocean Park

Early start and noodle breakfast.

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There’s a train line going directly to Ocean Park and Disneyland, how convenient.

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Curious little kids.

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My little adventurero 🙂

Kids’ new friends.

Transferring to watch the Dolphin and Seal show, picturesque view from the cable car.

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And the big kids off to go on the big kids’ rides.

This view to cap off the whole day event. It was overwhelming to see the kids have so much fun.

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Victoria Peak

We headed to Victoria Peak after to catch the sunset and well, was in for a surprise.

No we did not take the tram because the line was like 10 years long. We took a taxi instead and it was much cheaper, $49HKD vs. $88HKD and more than an hour of waiting to board the tram.

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Entrance to the Sky tower costs $32HKD, kids half the price. Can’t really remember (haha).

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It was a case of expectation vs. reality. The place was overly crowded.

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On the way down the sky tower, there was an area where you could take 3D photos. This was not the Trick Eye Museum, the museum was on the other side and had a $100HKD entrance. This one was for free.

Day 3 | Disneyland

Off to the happiest place on earth!

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Cinderella’s Castle

Pretty flowers all around!

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Choochoo train that takes you on a tour around Disneyland.

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Everything is exaggeratedly overpriced in Disneyland (rice costs $18HKD!) but when Juancho passed by a souvenir shop with the entrance displaying Tsum Tsum toys and was like super excited when he saw it, well, I just couldn’t break his heart.

And his reaction? Well, there are just some things money couldn’t buy.

I find that Disneyland is more for small kids, the rides and attractions in general, although the older kids (including us) did enjoy the experience.

Day 4 | Free day

Harbour City

Roamed around Tsim sha tsui, shopped a bit and lunched on some Canton Dim Sum Expert chicken and pork buns. The siomai was also good but no photos because it was gone in an instant.

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Caught up with my friend Reg and treated us to some Korean dinner. Thanks Reggie! My treat in June (haha).

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Mongkok

The place where we were staying was right where Ladies Market is and just around the corner was sneaker street. So, off we went to hunt for some cheap shoes and buy some pasalubongs before they close. Some stores close round 11pm.

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Street food…street food…street food!

Day 5 | Homebound

Flying all day, tiring week but with the wide smiles on the kids’ faces and the endless laughter makes it all worth it.

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Flowers at the airport

Goodbye Hong Kong!

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Hello Manila!

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and hello Bacolod! Home finally!

Starting a new family tradition. Til the next summer trip!

Oh, by the way, we got our Disney and Ocean Park tickets on Klook. They sell much cheaper than the tickets sold on the official sites and when you get to the park, you don’t have to wait in line.

 

DMV